Today I acknowledged painfully that this sweet beautiful river is not my home any more. The path is my home, and when I’m on the path then the river flows inside me and with me- wherever I go.
Today I realised that when I let go of the long hair then I let go of a piece of my past with it, a clinging to that love, a nostalgia to that beauty. I let go of a piece of myself and had become, in a new piece, a small new working self.
When I let that river, hair and old part of me go, I can fully accept, with sadness but peace, that this river it flows on- but for other people that has crossed it’s path on this time. For now- for me- this river has long begone. It’s history. It keeps on but is not meant for my presence there.
I give thanks for the presents that it gave me, for all the softs sounds of humming water and singing birds, for the quietness essence and the winds through the leaves, and wild bores at dusk and shiny colourful dragonflies.
Today I understood that there will be other rivers for me, other rivers and loves, as long as I sit with me and my presence, as long as I self remember, as long as I remember to dance to life, to dance and to work and to remember.
I used to like Reggie’s phrase of “the river of life” and thought of this specific river, and this specific spot- as that life river. But now i know that the river of life it always flows on inside me, it’s all the rivers in the world, it’s all the paths that will lead me to my authentic self, it’s actually everywhere. so long, long begone river. may you flow for others as gracefully as you had for me.